10 Things That Annoy Me On Snapchat (and I bet you’re doing some of them!)
Now everyone is jumping on the latest bandwagon, Snapchat, the terrible bad habits are starting to emerge. Snapchat may have been around for a while now but in the past 6 months (since Gary Vee told everyone to use it after he invested in it) the marketers have moved in and Snapchats popularity has soared.
Now when I say soared let’s just take this in context. It’s still not Facebook or YouTube levels of users. It’s just over taken Twitter, which let’s face it probably isn’t that difficult given Twitters ongoing difficulties and it opened up a whole load of new features to enable you to call and video call folks you are connected to. And it’s growth is faster than Instagram.
Suddenly every “expert” is telling us we have to be on Snapchat or we are missing out. Missing out on what exactly? I’d love an expert to ever quantify such a statement. I keep hearing about these deepened relationships, but as I rightly pointed out in my last blog post about vanity metrics, unless those relationships and fake ass appreciation numbers are translating in to sales, then Snapchat is just yet another platform you are probably wasting your time on if you’re in business.
Don’t get me wrong, I totally see the benefit of Snapchat for certain industries and individuals. However, all these marketers that jump on any old bandwagon that passes by and declare it a winner without actually having a clear view of how it can be used, are totally missing the point of what it is they actually do. The point of marketing (see that’s what marketers allegedly do – clue many don’t, they just talk about it) is to market a product, service or person. It’s also about getting that product, service or person in front of the right audience. So all these marketers going all in on Snapchat are vitally missing their target audience because they are just doing the stereotypical marketer tactic of marketing to other marketers. Damn, someone really should tell them this!
And then there’s just bad marketing. Since I took a half-hearted interest in Snapchat I have totally changed my opinion of some people. As in, I’ve stopped listening to them. Stopped watching them and now have zero interest in them. Why? Because they are exaggerating their annoying habits in to those precious 10 seconds of my attention I have given them. And some are just straight up annoying.
Snap it up
There are many times in all our lives that we just have to suck it up and admit we got something wrong. If you are doing any of these things on Snapchat then I beg you to just snap it up, rethink what you are doing and stop doing these 10 really annoying things;
(disclosure – these are aimed at the average business owner, content creator, blogger, vlogger or anyone trying to increase their online popularity. If you are just using Snapchat for personal use and to snap your friends then none of this is relevant to you)
Honestly, what do you think is in any way appealing to watch about you stuffing food in to your open gob and watching the crumbs drop out? What?!?! It’s gross. And the noise makes me want to vomit. Your eating habits are disgusting so please stop this.
The flipside of this is if you are somewhere that has amazing looking food or eating in a really cool place. You are probably already lining up the Insta perfect photo but the quick Snapchat to say where you are or look at this fabulous cake is perfectly ok. I just don’t want to see you eating the cake.
Equally like eating. Why do I need a birds’ eye view of you putting the coffee cup to your mouth and taking a slurp? Seriously, did your mother not teach you to not slurp? And then there’s alcohol or more so being drunk. I thought it was established about 10 years ago drunk texting was a bad thing. Today, that’s the equivalent of drunk snapping. Do not do it! You may think it’s showing your personal side. I think it’s showing that you may have a drink problem or you can’t handle your drink and therefore could be a potential liability to my brand/business if I invited you to a party/event that served drink. Remember, when online you are always on show so show your best side. Not your drunk, slurring, incoherent side.
Unless of course being drunk is your gig, like Matt Bellassai. Then get shit faced to your hearts content. But I doubt you’re him and reading this.
I think this may well go hand in hand with drunk snapping for some people. But very often a Snapchat rant is about as much use as a chocolate teapot. Why? Because the vast majority of your audience won’t get to the end of your rant story. They will exit after around the third rant snap. Those 20 ranting snaps are a waste of your time so I certainly won’t let them be wasting my time. The clue is in the name, snap – chat. Snap; quick. 20 snaps at 10 seconds each are not quick. They are over 3 minutes long. That’s a video or a live stream. Not a Snapchat. If you haven’t gotten to your point by the third snap then you don’t understand the platform. Exit right please.
4. Too much detail
This encompasses all of the above and more. Eating, drinking, ranting, they are all just too much detail I don’t want to see on Snapchat. The platform is designed to be fun. That is why they have all the cool filters and stickers. A story is meant to be something interesting. It’s a “snap” shot in to something you are doing in your day. I don’t need to see every single little detail of your day. Especially when a lot of your days are exactly the same. Save it for when you are doing something interesting that isn’t drinking coffee or eating a burger.
Those 5 snaps of you going to the place to buy coffee. Followed by you ordering your coffee. Paying for your coffee. Collecting your coffee. And then taking your first slurp of your coffee. Another 5 snaps of your journey home. That’s potentially 14/15 snaps! That could equate to 2 minutes of my time! Far too much. If I follow 10 people that do this that’s 20 minutes of my time potentially wasted on your coffee! I could have gone and got my own in that time!
And when you are using this much detail you tend to miss the point of what your story is supposed to be about. So for example, if you are going to get coffee because you have a huge amount of content to edit, write, create etc that day, then the story shouldn’t be about the journey to get the coffee. The story should be a teaser of what content is to come (preferably on your own website) with the added fact you are powered by a great coffee to get it done. 3 snaps, max.
So just get to the point already!
Every story has a beginning, middle and an end. It doesn’t start off all wishy washy and remain that way until you go to bed. You may think that your Snapchat story is the highlight of my day and that my life should revolve around your content, and you probably totally believe that in your self-centred (narcissistic) world. But if you abuse my time then eventually I will abuse you. Verbally. Like in this blog post. After all, you’re so vain, you probably think this post is about you. Don’t you. Don’t you.
Ok so the internet is just full of bullshit and bullshitters alike, that’s nothing new. But at least try not to trip yourselves up on Snapchat!
If you are trying to project how successful you are – don’t show us the dump you live in or the couch you are surfing or the absolute wreck you are driving (or when it breaks down).
If you want to have us think you are a healthy focused individual – don’t constantly eat junk food and drink far too much alcohol or death trap energy drinks.
If you want us to think you have a team working with you – stop saying we when it’s clear it’s just you. Be honest; it’s just you! (a great example I’ve seen so much of is travel bloggers (content creators) who constantly say we but are travelling alone. Granted they may believe their imaginary friends are real but we can’t see them so we doubt your sanity when you keep saying we.)
Many are using their online profiles to project an air of perceived value (their value) kind of fake it till you make it. But not thinking before you snap could actually be exposing you as a bit of a liar and a fake.
Liar liar pants on fire (maybe literally!)
Another side of this is those that are leading double lives. I don’t mean they are FBI secret agents in their spare time. What I mean is those that have created a false personality to appear as the nice guy when in reality they are not very nice and probably know about it deep down and living in a state of denial or hoping they aren’t found out.
A great example is people (I’ll use guys as an example just merely for terminology purposes) that are cheating on their partners yet post/snap loads of stuff with their other halves in or go on about what a great boyfriend they are or how fab their girlfriend is. Now this would be absolutely fine if they weren’t cheating. And if someone watching knows your little secret then you can be damn sure that the more of this bullshit content you put out, the more of a hypocrite you are going to look, the more people they are going to tell you are a hypocrite and the more likely you are of being exposed.
If you have a secret that you don’t want the world knowing then stop posting the polar opposite everywhere because eventually someone is going to call you out for the fraud you are.
Another example is those that have bought their followers elsewhere. Do not brag, anywhere, about hitting 10,000 followers on Instagram, when you bought 9000 of them. Naturally for the purpose of this post, I’ll say don’t brag on Snapchat about this.
Just remember, it’s Snapchat. When you look in to that camera and lie, I can see your eyeballs and know that you are lying.
6. No engagement
Follow me, add me, follow, follow, follow. Ok so I’ve covered this before in my post on vanity metrics, but please stop asking (begging) for the follow and then following nobody back or if you do never watching anyone else’s stuff. I know so many that are guilty of this. Granted if you follow back a lot of people and you can’t follow everyone as there are limits, that’s presuming you have a lot of followers to begin with, then it’s impossible to watch everyone. But why should anyone follow and watch you when you show zero interest in them? At least make some, teeny weeny effort every now and then.
What’s the point in saying ‘Snap me back’ when you don’t follow anyone back?
If you just collect followers eventually they just become dust collectors.
7. Telling me I’m on Snapchat
Credit me with some intelligence! I know I’m on Snapchat! I opened the god damn app so I don’t need you to remind me where I am. And besides, just because it’s your morning it doesn’t mean to say it’s mine or that I’ve started watching at the good morning part. And my name is not Snapchat.
I’ve talked about streaming and driving before in this post, so I’ll keep this short and sweet.
Do not, ever, Snap and drive. If you stream and drive you are a dick. And it’s probably illegal.
9. Irrelevant tagging
So I get that you think your snap is the most interesting thing in my world and should give it my maximum attention. Guess what, I actually do have my own life and chances are your massively uninteresting snap is not on my list of priorities. Therefore, do not, and I repeat, do not, tag me in it.
Only ever tag someone if they are a) in your snap b) you know for 100% fact they absolutely would not want to miss it c) it contains vital information that effects them. Anything else is irrelevant. It’s the Snapchat version of email spam. And that belongs in a can!
10. Dick pics
Oh come on, it wouldn’t be Snapchat if we didn’t talk about dick pics.
Let’s just put this out there. It happens. A lot! I’ve had my fair share of dicks rock up in my Snapchat messages. I’ve also had an awful lot of requests for photos. Those kind of photos.
Just because the snaps vanish, it doesn’t mean that the image that you have engrained on my poor unfortunate memory will ever be erased. I cannot ever un-see what you send me no matter how many times it makes me want to vomit. My poor eyes will never be the same again.
However, if for some reason you do ever send any of those kind of snaps, be them dicks or boobs, just hope that you don’t fall in to point number 5 (bullshit) and you are actually using Snapchat to cheat on your other half. You may think that the evidence will disappear. Guess what; we’ve found ways to make it stick around in our phone memories without you knowing. Maybe to use as future evidence. Or just to show others what level of arsehole you actually are. But you may never know that.
At this point you may want to pop on over to my personal blog and read my thoughts and experiences on “Is Sexting Cheating?” You may then stop sending those dick pics, for good!
Snap to it then!
There are already a whole host of Snapchat stars that have become masters of the content creation, but when you ask them how they did it what you’ll find is that they put in an awful lot more work in to it than just banging out random 10 seconds of no thought content. And the biggest thing they did was engage, far and wide and often.
In all Snapchat is quite cool and fun. If you’re a celebrity or a content creator with an audience then it’s a great way to keep your audience engaged when perhaps you are busy creating content for other platforms or not appearing on the tv too much. But, there are still downsides and you just need to be a little bit careful about what you post.
“It can take 20 years to build a reputation and 5 minutes to ruin it” Wise words from Warren Buffett, but in Snapchat’s case, your reputation can be ruined in 10 seconds.
If you are a business or a business owner then you really need to listen to those wise words.
Snap it up!
And if you really must follow me on Snapchat then here’s my snapcode. But be warned, I actually only ever use it when I’ve something good to share, mostly when I’m on holiday because I really don’t feel the need to bore you with the mundane day to day things I do, you know, like work and drink coffee.
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